Category: life or something like it

May 10 2007

Running to Stand Still

On Tuesday, I found out that I did not get the internship in LA.  While I’m quite relieved to at least know, I’m still a little bummed that I didn’t get it.  LA isn’t my first choice of a place to live by far, however I think the year there would have been very good for me.  What it has done is put me back into a brainstorming mode of what my next move is.  Right now I’m blessed with a great job and boss so I’ve at least got that going for me.  But it also doesn’t get me any closer to where I want to be.  So I’ve got myself some time set up to talk to a friend and do some brainstorming on Monday morning.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to come up with some good ideas from there.

What I see myself doing this week though is pulling inward.  I’ve got no appetite for food, though I’m eating better this week than I did over the weekend.  I’m going home tonight for Mother’s Day weekend, but that is also part of what is on my mind.  A couple weeks ago, my parents were in town, and didn’t tell me they were coming up, and when I talked to them after finding out…didn’t make any time to see me.

I feel alone.  If it wasn’t for one of my best friends, I might not have seen anyone outside of work this week.  I barely even see my roommates…one of whom is a lame duck roommate as he’s moving out at the end of the month. So I also need to be searching for a new roommate, but I have no motivation for that either.

Tonight, 80’s Night at John Henry’s in Eugene.  That will be fun.  It’ll be good to see my Eugene friends and forget about everything else going on for a few hours.

Saturday, I get an eye exam.  I don’t think my perscription will have changed, but its been long enough I need an exam to get new glasses.  I’m going to get my Dolce & Gabanna frames relensed (I lost one of them) and I’m looking for new frames that are flamboyant and competely different from the three frames I already have.

Sunday is Mother’s Day.  I haven’t decided what I’m going to do for her (other than give her the last installment of money that I owe her).   

I’m also looking forward to watching the Planet Earth DVD’s on my dad’s HDTV. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/05/running-to-stand-still/

Apr 10 2007

Internships, iPods and other silly things

I’ve interviewed for the internship in LA.  I actually was able to do my interview face to face, because I co-led a workshop at a conference with the person who would be interviewing me.  I think the interview went well.  My thought is that the other applicants (esp. male), will have more to do on whether or not I get the internship.  After being in the LA area for the weekend though, I’m still kinda freaked out about moving there.  Its going to be rough living in that environment for a year, and unfortunately I doubt I’ll be able to afford to make many “sanity” trips up to Oregon.

I finally caved in and bought a new iPod.  My old one broke the week before Thanksgiving last year.  I was able to hold off buying one for an entire month when I decided I really wanted one again.  I even put the cost of the iPod in savings before buying one later on.  This time I got the 4GB iPod Nano (Red so some of the cost goes to helping Africa).  Now I’ll have music to listen to on my morning bus commute again. 😀

I’m getting really excited about my trip to NYC in 8 days.

I’m going to see Stephen Marley & Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley at the Roseland on Thursday.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/04/internships-ipods-and-other-silly-things/

Mar 24 2007

spring begins

Spring has begun in typical Oregon fashion, with rainy days.  The combination of grey rainy days and missing my housemate that moved to Japan last Sunday has left me in a general state of melancholy all week.  I’ve been half-heartily searching for a new roommate all week, and my other roommate hasn’t been around to do interviews (at least as much as I’d like), so that hasn’t helped either.  I’d like to get the whole roommate mess sorted out before I leave for LA on Thursday, but I’m not sure that’s gonna happen.

Wednesday night the video card in my desktop computer decided to commit hari kari.  I’ve got a new one on the way from Newegg, which will actually be a pretty significant upgrade.  Until then, I’ve got my desktop running headless so I can stream music off of it on my spare laptop.  But it is alas an unplanned expense.  Fortunately, for one of the first times in my life, I’m in a place I can absorb it.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/03/spring-begins/

Mar 20 2007

the last day of winter

After only a short hour and a half on the phone yesterday, I’ve reworked my flight schedule to NYC in April (Delta changed our intinerary on Sunday).  We’ll be leaving PDX earlier, laying over in SLC for almost 4 hours, and arriving in Newark…instead of JFK.  But at least I will get into the NYC area in enough time to make it up to New Haven and check out Yale Divinity School.  In compensation for doubling our travel time (and the hour and a half I spent on the phone mainly on hold)…we are recieving passes to Delta’s Crown Room (which may not even arrive in time, because they have to get sent out via the corporate office).  They also offered us $50 travel vouchers, however as neither my friend or I plan to fly Delta anytime soon…they would pretty much be worthless (plus apparently you have to take them into a Delta ticket counter to even use them).

Now I must figure out how to get from Newark airport to New Haven.  Yummy.

My (old) roommate made it safely to Japan, where she is spending a week in Toyko for unpaid training in a shitty hotel before moving to a small city of 50k north of Toyko.

I rented a car and went to the coast with a friend on Sunday after we dropped the (old) roommate off at the airport for her flight to Japan.  While the weather decided not to fully cooperate, I still had a good time, got my feet sandy and wet, and felt refreshed after the trip.

This week will involve yet more interviews trying to fill the empty room in our apartment.  So far, I haven’t been that excited about the responses to my Craigslist ad.  

I’m excited for Spring.  I feel like this year spring and summer are going to be really good. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/03/the-last-day-of-winter/

Mar 19 2007

“They wept together, for the things they now knew.”

For his friends, he gives everything.

Even when it is difficult or hurts.

It always amazes him when others don’t (even though he’s seen it time and time again).

It just seems so simple (even when it isn’t).

And so his heart is torn…between passion, friendship and love.

He wished to know her better, and now he does.  He wonders if perhaps the passion will be muted.  He steps away, as he feels he must, hopeful, yet expecting nothing.  

He gave himself to the moments, worrying not about the past or the future (at least not much).  He is thankful for those moments, for they were wonderful.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/03/they-wept-together-for-the-things-they-now-knew/

Mar 18 2007

When it rains…(or I love it when a plan falls apart)

We just dropped my roommate off at the airport for her move to Japan.  I’m really happy for her but I am sad to see her go.  We managed to have a pretty good going away gathering for her Friday night.  I got a keg of Rogue Hazelnut Brown and she invited over her friends for one last hurah.  Most everyone showed up and seemed to have a good time.  Lauren said she did and that was the most important part.

So already a little meloncholy, I return home this morning to recieve an email from Delta notifying me of a change in my itinerary to NYC next month.  Our non-stop flight from PDX to JFK has been canceled and they’ve rerouted us through Atlanta.  The problem is, now we’ve got an almost 4 hour layover in Atlanta and I won’t get up to NYC in time to drive up to New Haven to check out Yale as planned.  Ugh…I guess one of Monday’s plans will be to call Delta and see if we can get an earlier second leg of the flight.

Girls are confusing the fuck out of me right now.  I don’t yet have the words to explain it. 

Can I have a redo on this weekend? 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/03/when-it-rainsor-i-love-it-when-a-plan-falls-apart/

Mar 14 2007

march on

Change is afoot.

One of my roommates is moving to Japan on Sunday.  I’m really excited for her, but I’m sad she’s leaving (and a little jealous).  This week is a series of goodbye gatherings though…its a little bittersweet.

I’ve applied for an internship in LA.  It would start near the end of August. If I get the internship, I’ll have to get my car fixed and insured again.  I’m anxious to find out what happens with the application.  I’m a little on the upper end of the age range for the internship and hope that doesn’t work against me.

I’m getting a little stir crazy here in town.  The last time I left town was for an afternoon in early February to drive down to Eugene to get a letter of recommendation for the internship application.  Sadly, It doesn’t look like I’ll get out of town until I head down to Southern California at the end of the month for a conference I’m staffing.  I am however looking forward to going to New York City in April for a long weekend. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/03/march-on/

Feb 20 2007

a day in the life of rhino

Someone pointed out to me today that lately all I’ve posted is poems.  That my posts don’t tell enough about what is actually going on in my life.  So a brief update seems to be in order.

Work is good.  It has been pretty busy lately, but that’s a good thing, it makes the day go by quickly.

Outside of work I’ve been pretty busy as well.  Been hanging out with various friends, going dancing, hosting beer tasting parties.  It’s been a blast.

Today’s big news is that I bought a plane ticket to NYC.  And to make things even better my best friend is coming along with me to NYC.  We’re going in the middle of April.  I’m very excited, I’ll get to see my little sister and hang out with a couple of friends I haven’t seen in quite awhile.

The month of April is shaping up to be a great month as I have plans for all but one weekend already.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/02/a-day-in-the-life-of-rhino/

Feb 20 2007

“Danger of Love”

illuminated
she burns on my dreams.  the fog
shrouds everything

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/02/danger-of-love/

Feb 18 2007

a psalm for trees

I am a tree and I am quite lonely.  I weep in the rain.  For the sake of Allah, listen to what I have to say.  Drink down your coffee so your sleep abandons you and your eyes open wide.  Stare at me as you would at jinns and let me explain to you why I’m so alone.

— from My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk

IMG_7276

We cut them down…just to wipe our ass in comfort.

They watch over us, the world, each other…seeing it all…feeling it all…

And without a word we cut them down.

But then we’ve looked at them for shelter for many years.  We just don’t take the time to listen anymore.  To let them carve into us the names of their loves.

I want to get lost among them…listening to their stories…understanding their knowledge of God.  Follow their wisdom about love and long life.

I want to tell them about the summits of mountains and the trenches of oceans.  Those things they’ll never see.

But I too am guilty of cutting them down.

As am I guilty of cutting myself down.

Just so it will be more comfortable to wipe my ass.

—for AWags

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/02/a-psalm-for-trees/