Category: life or something like it

Oct 02 2007

life in los angeles

It has been a busy few months here in Los Angeles so far.  I think that this has in some way postponed a lot of the homesickness I fully expected to feel.  There has definitely been moments, but those have been quickly put on hold to concentrate on work.  Over the last week, however, it has really begun to sink in that I really live here, and how far away many of my friends are.  Living in LA without a car is challenging and its been difficult to find ways to interact with people outside of the USC community.

Highlights of the first few months:

  • Amazing food discoveries (Like the biggest burrito that I’ve ever seen at a restaurant…and it not being the biggest in LA)
  • Diversity (It’s kinda cool to hear people talk in languages other than English…even though I don’t understand it)
  • The Music Calendar (there is so much going on…its really just a matter of time and money…not whether something is actually happening)
  • Running into old friends at a conference for work in San Francisco that I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to initially…but so glad I went to in the end (and seeing a friend from Eugene while I was there as well).
  • Sleeping under the stars on the beach at our Fall Retreat in Oceanside, CA (and the fairly warm ocean water)

Lowlights of the first few months:

  • My diet has been horrible…way to much fast food and eating out in general (and not finding a good grocery store nearby with organic/local food)
  • Adjusting to much longer hours and different sleep schedules
  • Having a hard time finding a “me” outside of USC
  • The Ducks loosing on the second to last play of the game to Cal while surrounded by USC fans.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/10/life-in-los-angeles/

Sep 04 2007

Labor Day

The toughest part of living in LA so far has been my days off.  Because I don’t have a car yet, and I only really have two other friends other than my housemate, I end up feeling a little trapped on my days off.  This is further magnified by the fact that I still have quite a different natural schedule than my housemate (I get up when its still the morning).  This coupled with some extra hot days…and I end up just sitting around my room bored all day.

I’m hoping to get the car situation worked out fairly soon.  But I am dependent on my buddy getting it ready for me (like getting new tags for it).  At least then I can get out and more easily explore things.

I still feel this need to find some friends outside of my work world though.  But I’m not really sure how to go about that at the moment either. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/09/labor-day/

Sep 03 2007

one deep breath: grandparents

One of the things I failed to touch on in my earlier post about my last couple weeks in Oregon, is perhaps one of the most important things I did while I was home in Eugene for the two and a half weeks.  Because all of the grandchildren were going to be in town, we were going to inter my grandmothers ashes.  My grandfather had wanted to wait for a time when we could all easily be there.  My sister, who lives in NYC, had flown back just a couple days before my grandmother passed.  Because my grandmother did not want a funeral, there was no rush to bury her ashes.

The whole family drove up to the small cemetery where her ashes would rest.  They would be put directly into the ground next to her parents.  My uncle dug a small hole and my grandfather opened the box her ashes were in and poured them directly into the ground.  What remained of my grandmother would at least feel the earth around her as she wanted.  Yet again, however, I learned about love from the eyes of my grandfather.  This haiku is for him.

for grandpa

her ashes covered
within the dirt.  his tears truth.
their love still evolves.

past breaths for my grandparents:
odb: legacy, odb: storms, odb: a new year, odb: roots

more breaths from the poets at one deep breath

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/09/one-deep-breath-grandparents/

Aug 28 2007

A Few Weeks in LA

I’ve been in Los Angeles almost three weeks now and it still really hasn’t sunk in that I actually live here.  I don’t know if it is a result of my only furniture being a borrowed Aero Bed and a small bookshelf or the fact that I don’t yet have a car.  Whatever it is…it still just feels like a long vacation or perhaps more correctly business trip since I have been working since the 15th.

Not having a car in LA is definitely a much tougher thing than in Portland.  There is public transportation but for some reason it just doesn’t feel as accessible.  Perhaps that is more of just the general mindset of the city around me.  I do have a lead on getting a car from a friend, but currently that’s on the back burner.

I’m living a few blocks from USC in a pretty nice townhouse.  The rent is pretty much double what I was paying in Portland, but for the area, its proximity to the University (and therefore less need of a car)…its a pretty good deal.  The neighborhood is pretty interesting.  The immediate area is largely the college crowd, however a few blocks away the neighborhood becomes largely Latino.

Most of my explorations of the city so far have revolved around food.  There has been a lot of eating out these first few weeks.  The highlights are the biggest burrito I’ve ever seen at La Barca (in the neighborhood) for under $9 and some amazing ramen at Daikokuya in Little Toyko.

I’ve been to the beach (and got the resulting Norwegian Sun Tan…ie redness).

I saw Diana Krall at the Hollywood Bowl, which was a great show at a great venue.  Probably the best sound at an outdoor venue I’ve experienced.

I’ve been to a club in Hollywood (for DJ Heather & DJ Collete @ Deep)

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/08/a-few-weeks-in-la/

Aug 22 2007

Welcome to California

So here I am…entering California.  The drive was pretty comfortable all in all.  My rental car was nicely equipped with Sirius Satellite Radio, so most of the first day of driving was spent singing along to the 80’s channel.  The one thing you can say about a solo road trip…no one can complain about your singing.  I wasn’t in California long however before I ran across this:

A giant wooden horse? You’ve got to be kidding me!  Here I am driving to Los Angeles to work at the University of Southern California and I see a giant wooden horse less than an hour after entering California.  What craziness!Other than that, the drive was pretty standard.  The drive past Mt. Shasta and Shasta Lake was beautiful as always.  I ended up resisting the temptation to stop in Redding for In-N-Out, pushing through to Corning, CA where I would need to fill up with gas.  For those of you who haven’t driven down I-5 through Northern California, Corning is home to the famous Olive Pit Restaurant (they also advertise a big “Olive Festival,” however, I’ve never been through when it is going on).  This was a standard stop for a few of my friends and always featured some tasting of some tasty olives.

Day one’s destination was Madera, CA.  I was going to crash at my friend Nicole’s aunt & uncle’s house.  Nicole happened to be in the states (she currently lives in Sicily) during August and offered to give me a place to crash.  We went out for a nice dinner at The Vineyard Restaurant and afterwards watched a little tv with her aunt & uncle before I crashed for the night.

Day two was a quick drive down to Los Angeles.  I stopped in the town before the Grapevine to fill up again and was on my way.  Traffic wasn’t to bad once I hit the LA area except for a little stretch near Downtown LA.  I pulled up to my new place (a townhouse) just after 11am.  After a quick bite for lunch I unloaded the car and here I was…a resident of Los Angeles.

Crazy!

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/08/welcome-to-california/

Aug 19 2007

Leaving Oregon

After an action packed final week, on July 21, 2007, I loaded up a truck with all of my belongings and left Portland after almost three years.  I was heading down to Eugene to spend some time with my family and friends before the final destination of Los Angeles.  It was a good thing however that I was so busy the last couple weeks in Portland, because it gave me less time to reflect on the things and people I was leaving.  I was thankful however that I managed to spend at least a little time with pretty much all of my Portland area friends before I left.

Moving day was pretty crazy.  Most of my stuff was ready to put in the truck, but not quite everything.  Then there was the question of “was everything going to fit?”  Luckily with some excellent Tetris-like skills, everything that was going fit in the truck.  I was pretty exhausted by the time the truck was loaded and contemplated sticking around another night before pushing through and getting on the road.

My two and a half weeks in Eugene hanging with friends and family was good.  Both of my sisters were in town, which could be one of the last times all of us are together under the same roof.  (The middle sister lives in NYC). There was also plenty of good times to be had with my Eugene friends, 80’s night, a now infamous Burlesque show and one new friend.  I find it kinda ironic that for most of high school and college I couldn’t wait to get out of Eugene, but now that I’ve been gone for awhile…I really miss it.  Anyway, the time in Eugene was really good, not nearly as dramatic as I’d feared and well worth the lost wages I could have earned staying in Portland for another couple weeks.

On August 8th, I loaded what I could in a rented Chrysler Pacifica and began my journey to Los Angeles. Before leaving Oregon, I did have to stop in Ashland to get some snacks at the Co-op and see my old housemate. But after that quick stop, it was on to California.

I’ve barely left you…but I miss you already

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/08/leaving-oregon/

Jun 30 2007

changes

I haven’t posted in awhile, and part of that is because I’d been holding off on perhaps the biggest news until it was official.  The big news is, I’m moving to LA at the beginning of August.  An amazing opportunity kind of fell into my lap.  I’m going to be working at the Episcopal Chaplaincy at the University of Southern California.  I’ll be working closely with the Chaplain as a lay chaplain. 

So as of now the tentative plan will be to be moved out of my apartment in Portland by Jul. 22.  I’ll be down in Eugene through Aug. 6 and then head down to LA.

I’m excited…but its going to make for a busy July.  I’m also taking a graduate-level history class at PSU through July 18th.  So it’s work, school and getting ready to move for me for the next three weeks. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/06/changes/

May 29 2007

Welcome back to the work week

After a generally morose weekend, its back to work.  But today is a good day.  I think I’ve at least a bit dug out of the moroseness of the weekend and have a positive attitude going into this week.  Sunday ended up making all the difference.  Went on a long bike ride with a friend, then went over to another friends house and watched the end of the Stanley Cup Game 1.  We had a little bbq afterwards and then I rode my bike home.  After around 30ish miles of bike riding on Sunday, I slept very well last night.

The weather is supposed to be great all week, maybe even a little too hot on Wednesday (the first 90 degree High is predicited for Wednesday).

It’s gonna be a good week I think. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/05/welcome-back-to-the-work-week/

May 27 2007

forgotten

I’ve been struggling with my self esteem lately.  It’s not just the normal I’ve been beaten up emotionally by the girls I’ve been interested in lately (which is still true).  Lately I’ve felt like just an after thought in many of my relationships.  From my parents not letting me know they were coming to town (or taking even a little time to stop by and see me) to another friend forgetting to let me know they were leaving (when they knew and had said I could go along with them).

As a result I’ve been spending a lot of time just sulking around my room.  I’m sleeping a lot, not because I’m tired, but because I don’t have anything better to do. I have very little appetite lately, I eat, because I know I need to, but it rarely excites me.  I’ve often “forgotten” to eat in the evenings, because nothing sounds good to me.

I’m not really sure how to escape this funk at the moment either.  I’m confident that I will eventually, I’m just not sure what to do to help that process.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/05/forgotten/

May 18 2007

They don’t finally meet somewhere

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.

–Rūmī

I wonder if at times I am just guilty of hearing only what I want to hear.  If perhaps I’ve been deceiving myself in my pursuit of some sort of meaningful relationship.  That in my looking, I’ve become blind to love itself.

Over the past year it feels like I’ve been constently beaten down in this pursuit.  I have to wonder if some of those bruises are self-inflicted.   Am I ascribing feelings of love to feelings of lust?  I fell for a couple different people this past year.  Each time however fate seemed to have other things in store (pending moves were issues in both cases, though not by any means the only issues).  I’m waiting for the day to arrive that the chorus of the Dire Straits song “Romeo & Juliet” will no longer be true.

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start,
And I bet, then you exploded in my heart,
And I forget, I forget, the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Right now I am stuck in this paradox of extreme spring fever and an indifference towards relationships.  I don’t need something completely serious…but I don’t want just a random hookup either.  From experience, I know that the random hookup won’t make me any happier.

So I’m left with just faith.  I believe, as Rūmī suggests, I will find what was in me all along.  It brings me hope and with that hope I maintain at least some level of happiness.  There are days that it is a struggle to believe in that hope and happiness. These days I rely on my faith and also on poetry.  Sometimes what I need is time in prayer.  Other times, the prayer comes through the poetry of others.  Some days I just need to write.  It doesn’t always make sense.  It isn’t always poetry.  It is just love.  I don’t need to “understand” it.  I just need to give myself to it.  Without condition.  Without requition.  In many ways this has become my religion.  Love and my faith in it.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/05/they-dont-finally-meet-somewhere/